Shortcuts - Hit & Run Part 3

Aaaand, one more Shortcut, courtesy of guest host, Jesse! Wow, three for three! That's a new record for us, right?

Hit & Run

Hit & Run did neither for me. It never hit me with good entertainment or ran with any substantial jokes or good dialogue. Dax's driving portion was just overkill; too much burning tires and hot rod'ing. Save for the one scene that introduced Bradley Cooper's character. Other than that, there wasn't much there. A few chuckles at the end but nothing to write home about.

6/10

-JESSE

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Hit & Run Part 1 (The Pre-Review)

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Shortcuts - Hit & Run Part 2

Bonus Shortcut! Jonathan chimes in with his own mini-review of this weeks featured film.

Hit & Run

When we saw the trailer for Hit and Run we saw the perfect situation for an explosion of comedy and mayhem. What we got was much more...mediocre. While all the actors play their parts well (very well, in fact) many of the greats are grossly underused and hilarious character traits are introduced and then left unexplored. Bradley Cooper as a hippie and a murderous bank robber stands out as the best example. Chances to make the comedy really cut deep were missed (by a long shot) and brilliant setups had less than satisfying results. Somewhat funny, mostly disappointing.

4/10

-JONATHAN


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Shortcuts - Hit & Run

And now, Road To The Movies is proud to present Shortcuts: mini-reviews of 100 words or less to whet your appetite for the full-meal-deal of a review we'll be posting on Wednesday.

Hit & Run

I don't have a problem with "cute," so let's just get that clear right here and now. "Cute" is fine, just don't expect me to start running off at the mouth about how great it is. If I were out on a first date (I speak hypothetically, as I've been happily married for 15 years - sorry ladies) "cute" is just what I'd be looking for, because "cute" is safe. I'm not looking for safety when I go to the theater on my own. I want excitement! Excitement demands danger, and "cute" just isn't dangerous. Hit & Run is very "cute." Sorry.

6/10

-GABE





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Upcoming RTM Schedule

Hey all, just wanted to post this tentative schedule - subject to change, of course - so all you wonderful viewers out there in Web Land have an idea of what you can look forward to from Road To The Movies.

Monday, 8/27 & Wednesday, 8/29: Hit & Run



Monday, 9/3 & Wednesday, 9/5: Lawless



Monday, 9/10 & Wednesday, 9/12: Mystery Movie 2

If you haven't watched our first Mystery Movie Review, check it out here:



Monday, 9/17 & Wednesday, 9/19: Resident Evil: Retribution



Monday, 9/24 & Wednesday, 9/26: End of Watch



Well, that'll take us through the end of September. Hope it whets your appetite for some sweet reviewage! Be sure to click the banner below to go to our YouTube channel, where you can subscribe and/or watch all of our previous reviews in preparation!

The Expendables 2 Part 1 (The Pre-Review)

Gabe, Jonathan, and Seth on their way to watch "The Expendables 2".



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The Expendables 2, Part 2 (The Review)

Gabe, Jonathan, and Seth review "The Expendables 2".



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Shortcuts - The Expendables 2

Hey, welcome to Shortcuts - mini-reviews to tide you over until the full Road To The Movies review drops on Monday (The Pre-Review) and Wednesday (The Review)! Sorry we're about an hour and a half past the Saturday deadline (it's now close to 1:30 Sunday morning), but in supporting the spirit of blistering action that our movie this week - The Expendables 2 - seeks to uphold, we spent all day Saturday playing Max Payne 3 and just now remembered we need to post these. Again, we apologize. We'll try not to let this become a regular thing.

Without further ado, this is Shortcuts!


The Expendables 2 is a no holds barred, adrenaline pumping thrill ride. Cliché description maybe, but 100% appropriate. It knew exactly what it wanted to be and then kicked its own hypothetical ass. It is, without a doubt, exactly what you’d expect when you get the stars of every movie that’s ever been called a no holds barred, adrenaline pumping thrill ride (in a ‘90s movie trailer voice) together, and have them Jack Slater, yippee-ki-yay motherfucker, round house kick you in the face with ridiculous awesome. Go watch this movie… unless you’re a bitch.

Oh yeah, one last word:

ChuckFuckingNorris

9.5/10

-SETH

And just 'cause we're so sorry to have been late this week, here is a second opinion for you to consider!

There are two kinds of people: The kind who adore ‘80s action and yearn for its triumphal return, and the kind who won’t enjoy The Expendables 2. If you’ve ever loved a pithy one-liner chasing a bullet; if you’ve ever cheered at a bad guy getting blown to smithereens in a clear case of extreme overkill; if you’ve ever loved an American Hero who can barely pronounce “American Hero,” then this is your golden moment. There are few perfect movies – fewer still perfect action movies – and if this isn’t one, it’s as close as a shave with a combat knife.

9.5/10

-GABE





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The Bourne Legacy Part 2 (The Review)

As promised, here it is: Road To The Movies's review of The Bourne Legacy! Enjoy!



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The Bourne Legacy Part 1 (The Pre-Review)

The way our show (Road To The Movies) works is like this: We drive to the theater and talk about the movie we're about to see (The Pre-Review). Then, we watch the movie. When it's over, we hop back in the truck and review it on the ride home (The Review). We post pre-reviews on Monday, and reviews on Wednesday. It's as simple as that.

Below, you can watch our pre-review of The Bourne Legacy. Sorry I forgot to post it on Monday. That's why you should subscribe to our YouTube channel.



Part 2 should be up later today! Click the banner below to go to our channel.

Shortcuts - The Bourne Legacy

For all of you who just can’t bear to wait until Wednesday to find out what we thought of the newest movies, Road To The Movies presents Shortcuts – mini-reviews of 100 words or less designed to sate your appetite for opinion just long enough for us to get our reviews edited and posted.

THE BOURNE LEGACY

If sequels are never as good as the original, the newest entry in the Bourne series is no exception. While The Bourne Identity balanced acting, action, plotting, and intelligence perfectly, Legacy – legacy in name alone – suffers from near dismemberment as each part pulls in a different direction. While I can’t fault the acting, the action suffers from “trying too hard” syndrome; and where the ideas are engaging, the plot falls apart when looked at through even a slightly critical lens. Ultimately, each part cancels out the others, resulting in a blandness that makes this the tofu of spy thrillers.

5/10

-GABE

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First Post

So, finally got this blog thing up and running. Expect to see review supplements as well as mini-reviews posted here on a regular basis. We post to the YouTube channel every Monday and Wednesday, after extensive editing, but we'll start posting quick, mini-reviews here on Saturdays.

In the meantime, click below to go to the YouTube channel. Thanks for watching, and be sure to check back regularly for more updates!